Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I was having thoughts as if I was still teaching at the school I used to teach at. I would really like to teach again, and I would like to teach at that school, despite some of my negative experiences. I came slightly more awake, and I was thinking should I try to return to teaching? I want to home school our daughter and be home with other babies. I used to have the thought that when she was a little bit older, maybe no longer nursing or something like that, that I might teacher until I had another baby, but now I can’t quite see my way to it.
I could see possibilities for how it might work, but I’m loving being with my baby so much. I feel like it’s better for her, so I would have to make sacrifices in that regard. If I waited until she was school age, I would have to make sacrifices in her education as I already know the school provides a mediocre education even in Islamic subjects, and that the administration has a much different educational philosophy and would expect her to spend the bulk of her time in her studies, so she just plain wouldn’t have as much time for being a kid and just exploring and playing.
I also had the strange thought that if I got good enough at my Bengali (I’m still studying) that I could teach English over there, but that’s not going to happen. My husband would think I was nuts. We spent such a long time waiting for his visa, and he doesn’t want to go back there. I was really just thinking that my daughter (when she is older) could have a bit of an International study abroad kind of experience, but I don’t think my husband would see the point of that as we wouldn’t be sending her to one of those expensive schools in Dhaka, and I doubt he thinks there’s anything too great about the schools in our area of Bangladesh.
Our family donated money to two schools in the area though. One was an Islamic girl’s school, and the other was an English medium school. I was invited to come visit the schools (and I really wanted to), but no one ever took me, and I wasn’t allowed to go out on my own due to my limited Bengali, the political situation, and general attitudes toward women and foreigners.