The parenting veterans will tell you, once you get used to your baby’s schedule, that’s when they will suddenly up and change it on you. Prior to our trip to Bangladesh, Baby and I had a pretty good thing going. She would go to bed relatively early, and I would drag out my sewing machine for a couple hours of work, pretty much every single evening. I was kind of looking forward to our trip to Bangladesh, so that I could have a bit of a vacation. But now I haven’t worked on my business www.etsy.com/shop/SisterCraftHijabs pretty much at all in over a month, and I don’t see that I will be resuming it in the foreseeable future.
At first I thought that Baby was just having a hard time adjusting to the time change from here to Bangladesh (that measly hour for daylight savings hardly signifies). But well, now she just doesn’t want to go to bed. Tonight for example, I spent two hours singing, rocking, bouncing, and nursing her. I assumed she was tired. She seemed cranky. It hardly matters. I don’t feel like I get anything accomplished pretty much the whole day while she’s awake. She pretty much spends her day plunking books in my lap for me to read (repeatedly) and screaming at me if I don’t start reading them immediately. My husband was awoken this afternoon by baby screams because I was trying to toast popped rice on the stove, and, well, babies and stoves don’t mix too well. I didn’t want to burn the popped rice while I was reading her a book, nor did I want to burn the baby, so well, there you go, screaming. I also take her out for playgroups and walks and visiting people pretty much every day just so she doesn’t drive me crazy, but I really don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything. I suppose that’s motherhood.
I started the business up again in 2015 as a way that I could stay home with her. Unfortunately, I didn’t anticipate that being home with her would also mean that I would be her caretaker 24/7 and therefore not really be able to work. Although my husband was encouraging me to get a part time job since before Baby was born, a few days ago when I suggested doing so (because I thought perhaps she’s old enough to be away from me a bit and the baby-free time might be good for me too) he said, “I don’t think that would be a good idea. That would be chaos with Baby.” Tacit appreciation for my role as stay-at-home mom. It doesn’t look like staying home with her will be a problem, so I guess I just have to embrace my role as mother.